Category Archives: Self Help

Guest Post – Child Confidence by Judy Bartkowiak


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When the lovely Faye Rogers asked me if I would like to be part of this fab blog tour I jumped at the chance.  Being a mother myself I thought this was a great way to see what this book was about a bit further as it sounded really interesting!

For my stop on the blog tour the lovely author Judy Bartkowiak talks to us about confidence in our children with some handy tips to help with our children’s confidence.

A huge thank you to Faye Rogers and author Judy Bartkowiak for having me on this wonderful tour!


About The Book

Be A Happier Parent with NLP

Publisher – McGraw-Hill

Date Published – January 1st 2011

Pages – 209 pages

Format – Paperback

Category – Non-Fiction, Self-Help, Living and Learning

“Be A Happier Parent with NLP” gives you the skills you need to raise a confident, secure child in a confident and secure manner. The book uses the tried, trusted and proven techniques of neuro-linguistic programming to help tackle areas in which you may feel you lack confidence as a parent, while at the same time giving you the skills to help your child be happy, fulfilled and confident him- or herself. You’ll find yourself feeling less guilty, more in control, and communicating better with your child–at the same time be able to support your child in difficult situations and help him or her grow into a well-rounded adult.

Includes: Personal insights from the author’s many years of experience of working with children Practical exercises to help you engage with the book and act on what you learn One, five and ten-minute introductions to key principles to get you started Lots of instant help with common problems and quick tips for success, based on the authors’ many years of experience Tests in the book and online to keep track of your progress Quick refreshers to help you remember the key facts.

You can find out more about this fab book here –

Goodreads Link: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9888089-be-a-happier-parent-with-nlp?from_search=true&search_version=service

Amazon Buy Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Happier-Parent-Teach-Yourself-General/dp/144411056X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435876640&sr=8-1&keywords=be+a+happier+parent+with+nlp


Child Confidence

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I read the other day that failure is children’s greatest fear nowadays, not monsters under the bed or even the bully in the playground. What children fear most is failing, yet in life we know as their parents that life will present many challenges and opportunities to make mistakes so if they fear failure now, how will they learn the resilience that they will need to cope with those challenges they face further down the road in life? We need to teach them confidence because this is like having your own built-in protection.

 It may seem strange to talk about teaching confidence, after all, we assume children already have it don’t we? When parents bring children to me (I’m also an NLP Kids Coach) they talk about their child having lost their confidence so one of the things I do with children is to find it again and that’s what you can do, here’s how.

1.  When we start to notice that our child seems shy or quiet in company, starts fidgeting when people speak to them or doesn’t meet their eye contact we think they lack self-esteem and describe them as ‘shy’. When they say they don’t want to do something or they opt out of social situations or opportunities to join in, again this confirms that they seem to lack confidence. We put these different examples together and it starts to build a bigger picture of a child with low self-esteem. Maybe we find ourselves only noticing these patterns because we are slightly worried about it and we no longer notice examples of confident behaviour. This is very typical. When we are worried about something, we find ourselves noticing more and more of it. So what can you do to turn the tide? Instead, become curious. Start looking for signs of confidence everywhere. You will see it. The more you look for it, the more you’ll see it as well.  Children notice what you are taking an interest in and subconsciously they will display more of the confident behaviour as well.

2.  Sometimes we justify their lack of confidence by saying that we are quite shy ourselves or we perhaps also avoid opportunities to be centre stage. Our children model us. What they see us do is their pattern for life so if we hold back then they will copy that way of being and value it as the right way to be. They will be critical of others who are more confident and find their friends amongst others like them with whom they feel comfortable. So you need to model how you’d like them to be. Act as if you were confident to show them how to do it.

3.  Children need to find their own way of being confident and you can help by asking them who amongst their friends or their schoolmates is confident in a way that they’d like to be confident or which TV character or book character? Then suggest that when they are going into a situation that could be challenging they should imagine they are that person and ask themselves “what would he/she do now or say now?”

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For more ideas on how to build confidence in your child email judy@nlpkids.com for your free copy of ‘Confidence for kids’ (EBook or PDF).


About The Author

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Judy Bartkowiak is the author of ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ a guide to using life coaching skills to enhance your parenting. Judy and her husband Edward have four children – Lucy, Alex, Jess and Paul and live in rural Berkshire with their dogs Roxy and Holly and nine hens. Other NLP Family (www.nlpfamily.com) titles are:

 Workbooks

NLP for Parents

NLP for Children (5-10yrs)

NLP for Tweens (11-14yrs)

NLP for Teens (15yrs+)

NLP for Teachers

NLP for New Mums

NLP for Weight Loss

NLP for Work

NLP for Back to Work

 Self-Esteem Workbook

NLP Workbook

Secrets of the NLP Masters

 Judy Bartkowiak comes from a business background where she worked with Toy companies and TV production companies helping them to understand children and their relationship with brands such as LEGO, Baby Born, Bratz, Thomas the Tank Engine, Pocoyo, Fireman Sam and many other well-known names. She runs Kids Brands Europe alongside her NLP training and coaching www.kidsresearch.co.uk and has a Facebook Kids Panel for Market Research which is done online or from her home.

 She has an NLP training and coaching practice NLP Kids www.nlpfamily.com, specialising in child and parenting issues and runs Kids Brands Europe (www.kidsresearch.co.uk) as well as writing for children as JudyBee.

 Judy loves playing tennis and reading as well as spending time with her family.

 Email Judy judy@nlpkids.com for your FREE mini book ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ and apply code ‘Blog’ to get 10% discount off Judy’s books  at www.nlpandkidsbooks.com 


Blog Tour

Don’t forget to follow the rest of this awesome blog tour!

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Have you read this book?  What did you think?  What did you think of the Confidence guest post?  I would love to hear from you!  Why not leave a comment using the reply button at the top of the post or tweet me on twitter using @chelleytoy !

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Guest Post – Mental Health TBR by Nancy Tucker


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I have recently been sent a copy of The Time Inbetween by Nancy Tucker by the brilliant @sablecaught who works at Icon Books.  I have not got around to reading it yet, but it is high on my TBR pile and is set to be an insprational read!

My own review will follow shortly but for now here is a bit about the book….

When Nancy Tucker was eight years old, her class had to write about what they wanted in life. She thought, and thought, and then, though she didn’t know why, she wrote: ‘I want to be thin.’ Over the next twelve years, she developed anorexia nervosa, was hospitalised, and finally swung the other way towards bulimia nervosa. She left school, rejoined school; went in and out of therapy; ebbed in and out of life. From the bleak reality of a body breaking down to the electric mental highs of starvation, hers has been a life held in thrall by food. Told with remarkable insight, dark humour and acute intelligence, The Time in Between is a profound, important window into the workings of an unquiet mind – a Wasted for the 21st century.

I was over the moon to be asked to be part of the blog tour for this books espcially as this week is Mental Health Awareness week…something I am hugely passionate about supporting!  You can find out more here where you can find advise and support for anyone who needs it whether you are suffering or know some one who is.

Therefore I asked the brilliant author Nancy Tucker who has struggled with Mental Health for a long time to share some books that are on the top of her TBR pile that champion mental health!  And she has picked some great reads that I will be adding to my pile straight away!

*hands over to Nancy*

There is also a brilliant giveaway over on Goodreads!  I will pop the link at the bottom of the post!


Top five mental health memoirs I would like to read by Nancy Tucker

Reason to Stay Alive – Matt Haig

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I know, I am shamefully late to the party with this one! I don’t tend to feel quite the same magnetic pull to depression memoirs as I do to those which explore eating disorders, simply because I’ve never personally suffered from depression in its own right, only as a by-product of anorexia/bulimia. But I’ve heard amazing things about this book, its message and the hope it conveys, so am really excited to read it.

 The Man Who Couldn’t Stop – David Adam

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I always think OCD is the disorder with the most to contend with in terms of public ignorance, misunderstanding and general stupidity, so I am really intrigued to see how this book undermines common misconceptions and explores the way in which ‘normal’ obsessions/compulsions are elevated to a torturous extreme in OCD sufferers. There’s also a personal interest for me, as though I’ve never personally experienced OCD I do think there is a significant overlap between OCD and anorexia in terms of attempting to feel safe through ritualised behaviour.

 An Unquiet Mind – Kay Redfield Jamison

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I’ve heard this referred to as ‘the definitive text on manic depression’, so it feels like a good place to start in terms of learning about a condition I currently understand very little. Though I’ve never suffered from anything even approaching manic depression myself, the notion of uncontrollable swings between mania and despair is one which does feel a little familiar to me – albeit on a much more muted scale – and I am interested to see how Jamison balances recounting her own experiences of the disorder with giving her professional insight as a clinician.

 Elena Vanishing – Elena & Clare Dunkle

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An eating disorder book which I’ve not read is a rare thing indeed, so I am very excited to get my hands on this when it is released in a couple of weeks! As far as I can tell it is a co-written account of a mother and daughter’s struggle with the daughter’s anorexia, which isn’t a novel concept (Hungry – Sheila & Lisa Himmel; Alice in the Looking Glass – Jo & Alice Kingsley) but one which I think usually works very well, as anorexia often has the most profound effect on the relationship between mother and daughter.

 Life is Trichy – Lindsey M Muller

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This is a memoir exploring the author’s struggle with trichotillomania (compulsive hair-pulling), dermatillomania (compulsive skin-picking), and a cluster of other anxiety-based problems. I’m mainly interested in the fact that the author is herself a therapist, so spent years hiding her own struggles from clients, some of whom presented with the very same struggles she herself was facing. I hope to train as a counselling psychologist in the future, and often find myself wondering whether my own experience of mental illness will augment or diminish my ability to help those I treat, so I am really interested to read about how that balance worked in someone else’s life.


A huge thank you to Nancy for a brilliant guest post and for Stevie at Icon Books for asking me to be part of this wonderful tour and for sending me a copy of the book….I can’t wait to read!

You can follow Nancy Tucker on twitter using – @NancyCNTucker

You can buy this book here or why not order it in at your local bookshop 🙂

Or find out more over at Icon Books here

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About Nancy Tucker

Nancy with her book

Nancy Tucker is a 20-year-old author and nanny. She suffered from both anorexia and bulimia nervosa throughout her teens, but is now on the road to recovery and has gained a place at Oxford to study Experimental Psychology in 2015. She lives in London.

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Giveaway!

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Hope on over to Goodreads where you could win a signed copy of The Time Inbetween!

And the giveaway is open internationally!

Enter now!

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/137364-the-time-in-between-a-memoir-of-hunger-and-hope


Blog Tour

Why not follow the rest of this brillaint blog tour or catch up on posts!

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Have you read The Time Inbetween?  Did you enjoy it?  Are you taking part in mental health awareness week?  I would love to hear from you!  Why not leave a comment using the reply button at the top of this post or tweet me on twitter using @chelleytoy !

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